The silver candlesticks came to mind as soon as the idea of ‘Stories from Home’ was conceived.
They belonged to my father and his family before him and now they are in my home. They were part of our family rituals on a Friday night when we all got together, often with friends who found themselves away from their families or visiting London.
Over a lovely meal cooked by our mother it was always an occasion to talk and often have a heated exchange of views of what was happening in a pre-social media world. Where the cud could be chewed and there was no recrimination for things not agreed with, but discussed and things considered.
I often felt resentment that I shouldn’t go out on a Friday night – however in hindsight it was a rallying call and as I got older it was a time to bring friends home to become part of the family and understand a little of how I was brought up – very different to my friends. My lifelong friends always remind me how valuable those evenings were and they are very happy memories for us all.
Both my parents were Jewish refugees from Germany. My twin sister and I were brought up not really understanding the heartbreak of leaving family behind and never seeing them again. Our parents rarely talked about their past lives, always looking forward – their life work was to help other people through education, care, kindness and not be prejudiced in anyway although they were such victims of it themselves.
The terrible death toll of the current crisis has really brought home how families have been torn apart through no fault of their own and how, like my parents, were not able to say good bye to those who were so dear to them.
One of my father’s sisters went to Australia and the other to South Africa. The three got together again in 1978 – the first time for 45 years. They too were able to sit around the dinner table on the Friday nights they were together with the family candlesticks to remind them of the past and help them look to the future.
In these strange times I often think of how we are going to be in the future. How lucky we are to be able to see each other regularly on line. How things have slowed down and there is more time to consider the future – time to talk on the phone with fewer rushed texts. Consider other people and develop community – talk to strangers. No substitute though for a family get together with the hug and smiles and no time lag when talking to each other.
I marvel at the creativity and inventiveness of so many people during these times and worry about those so much less fortunate than myself and my lovely family and wonder what those candlesticks would say if they could talk about the past and what they might see in the future.
Veronica Dorset, June 2020
The Imaginarium 